Thursday, July 23, 2009

Warning - lots to say.

I've been busy. Today will be day 3 of 'Operation find something to wear to the wedding on Saturday'. Why oh why do I leave things until the last minute? 
I have learned a few things from my treks so far:
1. I don't need anymore shorts
2. (And I knew this before, but it is confirmed once again) - polyester is not hot. Not 'hot' in the good way of the word - not stylish, not sexy. However, it is hot in the sense - that one wearing it - could sweat to death.
3. I am not a fashionista - but I feel that I have some good fashion sense - and want to become a clothing designer for woman that aren't a perfect 7 - or whatever the perfect size is. Seriously! Just b/c you may be a 'plus' size woman - does not mean that your boobies are a triple D's or that you don't like loose fitting things right under them. I am going out of my comfort zone - b/c I really don't like to talk about my body - trust me - you don't even want me to get started - I have far too many issues - that it's just better we don't go there - but shopping for something that I need - as opposed to just shopping - can be so damn frustrating. Sigh. I did this to myself - I am not a skinny minnie - but in the meantime - it would be nice to find some classy clothes that are not in tacky table cloth material or reminiscent of animal print. What's that - cheetah! Yikes. 

Ok sorry for the rant. I really would like to try and make some things though. Now... if only I could sew. I sure wish that I paid attention in Ms. Johnson's homec class instead of getting kicked out for laughing all the time.


Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law Sharon today!!! I hope she has a good one. My brother usually does something really nice for her.

And Congratulations!!! Suzanne, Jeremy and big brother Alexander, welcomed Hunter today - love the name and can't wait to meet him.

Cooking - not too much really lately. Made a salad last night - just fresh yellow tomatoes, 
green pepper, goat cheese and some orange's juice on top. That with what seems to be our summer staple at least once a week - a roasted chicken from Thrifty's. So easy - take off the skin - and it's an easy dinner.

I made a double batch of the blueberry muffins - but didn't double the honey - and they turned out really well. So... this makes me think that the first recipe doesn't need a full cup of honey. I will have to try that again, although I am out of blueberries now. WITHDRAWAL. 

Now on to some more personal stuff that is connected to my rant above. My good friend Shannon has expressed to me that she has had one of 'those years'. I keep telling her to stay positive. I don't want to preach to her - b/c I know that when you're frustrated or whatever is happening in your life - the last thing you want is for someone to say stuff like 'keep your chin up' or 'good things are coming your way' - but in all honesty, I really do believe that trying to be positive - will help you. 

A couple of years ago I was in a funk. Not loving myself. I don't want to go into details - but I just felt like I was out of control of my own self - and I was finally realizing that I wasn't taking care of myself. Chris has always wanted me to be active - not running marathons, but active - healthy. For years I combatted him on this - feeling that he wanted other things - and just couldn't say it. That wasn't the case. He wanted me to be healthy - and take care of myself. I had done a poor job of making sure that I was number one. It took me a long time to realize that if the house isn't clean, the dogs aren't walked, dinner isn't planned or made, groceries aren't in the fridge - that I am unsuccessful, a failure, unorganized (or whatever words came to mind) - it just meant that I had other things to focus on. 

In my quest to figure this out - I posted little sayings all over the house - in places that I wouldn't miss reading them each day. I don't read them as much as I used to - I need to start again - but I really did say them aloud to myself - and I think that it really helped. 

I know that as woman - mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, partners - that we put a lot of pressure on ourselves and I think that it's ok to have some pressure - to remind ourselves that there are things that are important to us, but, it has to be a healthy pressure. If something doesn't get done, made, cooked, cleaned, etc., it will still be there. I really feel that if 'one' is taking the time for themselves, that it will only refresh them to take the care of everything else. 

I am still not anywhere near where I should be in making myself a number one priority. I am getting there though. I am selfish sometimes - I need to be. I still do things for others, because I like to. My running clinic in Jan to April - was good for me - and I only wish that I kept up with it. One thing that I have realized is - is that I can start over. I can try again. I can make things happen regardless if I wasn't successful the first time. I know it's a cliche - but we are all responsible for our own destiny. 

I wanted to share some of my sayings - and want all of the lovely ladies in my life to remember that we are all - Smart, intelligent, loving, beautiful, young women.

Wish me luck - I hope that I don't find other treats to bring home tonight.


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